Overcoming Discontentment

Just before the new year, I had fallen prey to the ugly beast of discontentment. Not because I’m not a grateful person, but because I had allowed myself to start to compare my life to others. I started measuring what I didn’t have, didn’t yet accomplish, and didn’t do against what other people have. Having a near death experience in that of COVID19 and pneumonia really shook me. Being strapped to an ambulance gurney with IVs in my arms , then being hospitalized, and not being able to hug and kiss my baby or my husband was the reality check I needed. In this blog, I want to share my five strategies for overcoming discontent. These have helped me and I pray they do the same for you.

My health crisis helped me to realize none of the things I was concerned about mattered. This realization led to repentance to God and to my family for being so consumed with other things. That fact of the matter is, despite what social media and outdated societal rules paint, success isn’t measured by material things. It’s measured by things that can’t be measured like life, health, strength, love, family, and community.  I have all of these and my heart is full. 

If you have the love of a family, you have a lot more than you think. If you have not succumb to grave illness AND OR you overcame it, you have more than you think. If you’re walking in integrity and you’re doing what you have to do to live, you have more than you think.
Sometimes, the only encourager who can get through to you, is you. So I want to share these strategies that may help you be an encouragement to yourself. It was the Psalmist David who took to encouraging himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6). He didn’t wait for anyone else to speak a word. He spoke it himself. You speak it yourself.

Strategy 1: recall where God has brought you from and what God has brought you through. Falling into discontent often happens when we forget where God brought us from. Remember in Exodus 16 when some time had passed and the Hebrews started to feel like their lives were better off in Egypt? How strange. God brought them out of a terrible situation and they became so discontent with how things were not the way that they wanted, so they wanted to go backward. Discontentment in us works just like this. Time passes after God answers one prayer, and we forget that He answered that prayer. We forget, and we get impatient while waiting for the current one to be answered. In order to overcome discontentment, begin to recall what God has done. Lately, I am recalling how God provided us the resources to have a debt free wedding and I hold on to that as we are awaiting God’s provision for our next major expense.

Strategy 2: Hone in on what you do have to celebrate. What are the positive things happening in your life right now? Surely there is one thing that you can be grateful for today? For me it’s every time I inhale and exhale and I realize that I am not hooked up to oxygen anymore. I celebrate regaining health in a time where many people have not recovered from illness. I have the ability to recover in the comfort of my home now where someone else is yet and still isolated in a COVID unit away from their family indefinitely. There has to be something that you can find to celebrate today. Maybe you finally got around to a project you’ve been meaning to do. Celebrate that! Maybe you’ve decided to take up a new hobby or skill. Celebrate that! Maybe you found a way to balance working from home and keeping your child(ren) engaged. DEFINITELY celebrate that! Celebrate the small wins because truthfully no win is ever that small.

Strategy 3: Serve someone less fortunate than you. Nothing humbles you and makes you more appreciative of your life like seeing people struggling way worse than you. There’s something about serving a population of people less fortunate that is sobering, and makes your problems seem so small. I can attest to the fact that when we do our street outreach, when we feed the homeless, and when we visit the hospice; something in me feels so much more grateful to not have those problems; and I am reminded that but for the grace of God there go I– finding myself in those shoes. Now, I know we are in the height of a pandemic so the opportunities to serve are not exactly the same as when we were not as restricted. However, there are other ways you can serve. Donate food items to a local shelter. Take an old purse, tote, duffel bag, or backpack you no longer use to create goody bags for homeless women that include sanitary items, toiletries, socks, soap etc,. Purchase and donate books to children in hospitals. Purchase and donate Bibles to people in countries where Bibles are too expensive. There are creative ways to serve. Tap into them.

Strategy 4: take an inventory of what you are watching, listening to and reading. More often than not, we feed ourselves with images, content, and music. It is no coincidence that as people we start to feel unsatisfied and discontent with where we are when the music we are listening to glorifies material possessions and money, or when the content on our feeds glamorizes monstrous sized homes and cars, or when everything we see says you need more, more, more, to be happy. I have unfollowed many pages that perpetuate this idea that you need to fill your life with material things. Material things are not bad, but they cannot satisfy your soul. Only Jesus can. If you are feeling like you are constantly battling this idea of not having enough, perhaps look at what you are feeding your soul and mind.

Strategy 5: Write encouraging letters or post it notes to yourself on a consistent basis. These are love notes and you owe it to yourself to shower yourself with them. This is paramount. ‘You’ are the biggest and longest commitment you will have in your lifetime. The way you speak to yourself matters. You have to be able to encourage yourself whether it is through written out on paper, or words spoken out loud to yourself. Writing notes to myself is very helpful and recently I have begun again. My Latest love note to myself I have on my mirror reads: “You are relearning to love where you are at ; even if it’s not where you want to be. You are relearning contentment in the era of comparison. This is a gift to yourself and to your family” Write yourself a love note and leave it on your mirror or someplace you’ll readily see. It will help tremendously. Try it now.

You’re a gift God gave to this earth remember that when you’re tempted to compare yourself or your life. Overcoming discontent and dissatisfaction take time but, you allow the process to be fluid and meaningful when you do your part to work through it. God sees you and knows those desires you have. Do not be discouraged by where you are today, and never stop holding faith for God to answer your prayers and bring those desires to fruition. This is not the end of your story and the page will turn beginning a new chapter. Love, Adara.